Many social goals are best accomplished indirectly; singles parties are never the best singles parties, dinners devoted to a discussion topic rarely produce good conversation; you’ve got to cultivate the conditions, not demand the behavior
Zooming out: great communities, in the traditional sense, required limited options so people would remain dependent: no specialists or external trade (to ensure we all collectively worked together), and no diversity or weird ideas (to ensure a homogenous group with a focus on tradition). We had far worse medical treatment, underwent excruciating manual labor, and didn’t necessarily share the same interests with others, but because we were dependent on each other, the bonds were strong. Now the options are virtually limitless, and we’re seeing our social bonds decay as a result.