The club model teaches us something: organizations that endure don’t try to include everyone. They’re clear about their identity, even as that identity evolves. Some clubs that were men-only for centuries now welcome women. They haven’t survived by being vague, they’ve survived by being clear, then changing what that clarity meant over time.
But these activities are all separate from the feelings needed to fully and sustainably participate: the courage, optimism, trust, love, intimacy, curiosity. The resilience to push through the inevitable feelings of fear, overwhelm, frustration, and hurt. The stamina to go through cycles of all of these feelings and more, again and again, and... See more
But we’re human beings, we do not want to be replaceable. We desperately want to be valued for who we are. Becoming disentangled from your web of mutual commitments, shared history, and collective responsibility is to be rendered into a transaction, a slave.2
We want to be loved, to be secure in the knowledge that no matter how much we’ve torn apart... See more