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Many social goals are best accomplished indirectly; singles parties are never the best singles parties, dinners devoted to a discussion topic rarely produce good conversation; you’ve got to cultivate the conditions, not demand the behavior
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Mongoose Technologydigitalplaces.bizKin-building is, at its heart, about finding ease and choosing to rest in others. When you have more people in your life, there is less on your individual shoulders to do and achieve. I do wish I had known sooner that it was about people just as much as it was about accomplishments.
The dilemma of chasing spectacle versus achieving lasting impact by starting small and cultivating deep, sustainable engagement.
TRANSCRIPT
It's interesting to think about if you're playing the game of spectacle, there's only sort of one path forward, which is more or bigger. Yeah. And mischief trapped ourselves in that own game. Like we've, we built the game, we designed a game. We want it because we're a player of one. And then we essentially are trapped by the game unless we
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“I think you can only really get staying power if you focus on a relationship with a small group for as long as you can possibly hold on and then a little bit more, and then maybe, maybe you have a chance of something with like really significant staying power.”
But we’re human beings, we do not want to be replaceable. We desperately want to be valued for who we are. Becoming disentangled from your web of mutual commitments, shared history, and collective responsibility is to be rendered into a transaction, a slave.2
We want to be loved, to be secure in the knowledge that no matter how much we’ve torn apart... See more
We want to be loved, to be secure in the knowledge that no matter how much we’ve torn apart... See more
billmei.net • Friendships Form via Shared Context, Not Shared Activities
It was only because I showed up and I paid attention," he said. "I looked for places to go. I looked for communities to join. I looked for ways to become visible and consistent, really committing to certain spots and certain groups, and then looking for opportunities to be useful and helpful.
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