Behavior Change

If you keep hearing some vague descriptions about how much better some change in life is, but you don’t really “get it,” maybe that’s a sign it’s something you should explore rather than shy away from.

To ask, every day, "What matters, in the end?" is to create the possibility of differentiated choice, the potential to overthrow the tyranny of our history, so as to honour something in us that has always been there, waiting for our courage.

— James Hollis

here is a technique I’ve used with success:

Step 1: identify the versions of yourself most responsible for bad behavior. Assign them names, describe the circumstances where and when they exist and write out their tendencies.

Step 2: list what decisions they are authorized to make, i.e. can they decide whether or not to consume alcohol past 5pm or has... See more