Becoming

The integration wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It mostly just required me to surrender, to accept being (at least temporarily) misunderstood as the price for being seen. And realizing that, the more I opened myself up to where I was, the more at home I felt, and the better job I did sharing the treasures I had found on my journey.

It is a ... See more

I wish I realized that so much of the return—of integrating the journey—is just being willing to be seen in whatever stage of the process you are in and inviting others to meet you there , instead of assuming they won’t understand and hiding because of that.

But I wish I had realized sooner that I could show up as I was, and everyone who loved me would still love me even as I was confused, freshly transformed and still getting my footing. I wish I realized that no one is as absorbed in our journeys of inner-transformation as we are, and that sometimes laughing with old friends about nothing in particul... See more

I have worked hard to stay close to my childhood friends, not just in the ‘knowing the events of each other’s lives’ sense (though this is a worthwhile aim!), but also in the sense that: I want to let them continue to know me and who I was becoming as I transformed , even as I shed versions of myself they had come to know so well. Because I love th... See more

As the hero, you get to stand up to those notions and reframe who you are. You get to teach those around you about who you have become. And this last phase—the landing, the integration, the return—cannot be avoided. Because if you refuse to return home, if you refuse to integrate, then your life just gets heavier. You end up with all of this treasu... See more

If you want to grow, listen to your intuition.

Truly listening to other’s perspectives is a sign of inner strength.

Ah, being the caterpillar. I look back on this phase and just wish I could give my past self a big hug and say: it’s all going to be okay. This was a phase of unease, confusion and inwards itchiness. It felt like I was growing, but I it wasn’t clear to me what I was growing towards . I no longer felt at home in the life I was building—one that seem... See more