My most effective life hack has been to learn to be with my inner experience, just as it is. It changes everything.
Unfortunately, most people want a more complicated solution and are dissatisfied with that answer.
I just sit with that. :)
It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling responsible for other people's emotions, reactions, and inner turmoil. We have an innate desire to be understood and accepted. So when others seem upset with us, judge us, or want us to change, we leap to explain, rationalize, and pacify. But in our quest to please or appease, we often lose ourselves.... See more
The most effective way to learn is by tuning in to the subtleties of your internal experience during the vicissitudes of daily life. This is especially true when you feel reactive, frustrated, or triggered by something or someone, as these are usually the moments when there is the most to sense, track, and feel.
"You can choose peace in every moment of your life. We have been taught to believe that when we don’t get what we want, or things aren’t unfolding as we had thought they should, that’s bad and thus we should feel badly. This struggling against what is, this inability or unwillingness to love what is, is the source of all of our suffering and it is entirely our own creation. With practice, we can become as masterful at choosing peace as we have become at choosing anything else."
learn to notice what’s happening with your broad awareness of the space around you. I’ve written before about the idea that awareness—the breadth of things you are able to notice in any given moment—can expand and collapse. Collapsed awareness is like tunnel vision, where there’s a sense that the wider world around you goes away while the thing... See more
The lowest level of choice is not making a conscious choice at all, which happens when you don’t notice that you even could make a choice. In this case there is effectively no space between stimulus and response, so you just act out your habitual behavior unconsciously. If you ever find yourself skimming the news or looking in the fridge without... See more