There are good men, of course, but when you’re young, you don’t really meet them. You meet the ones who don’t get you, because you’re still mistaking chemistry for compatibility.

Here’s my tip: stop giving men access to your inner world, or trying to prove you have one. Instead, start looking for men who aren’t afraid to talk about things that are... See more

I wanted them to see and know my depth: the entire internal architecture of my being.

compliance

They’d look at me the way you look at a screensaver—pretty, moving, meaningless. I mistook that look for fascination, when it was really just attention. And attention, I have since realized, is the cheapest form of intimacy.