You Grow from Your Edges

“I have come to see the profound value of taking in the whole landscape of life and not rejecting or denying what we are given. I have also learned that our waywardness, difficulties, and 'crises' might not be terminal obstacles. They can actually be gateways to wider, richer internal and external landscapes. If we willingly investigate our difficu... See more

the good pursued to its limit becomes the bad, and exploring the dark places we visit in our pursuit of the good can create the conditions for growth, change, and wisdom.

The basic insight is that compassion—which combines an awareness of suffering with a desire to alleviate it—can be applied to ourselves, just as it can be applied to people in the outside world. And compassion can be learned.

Edges are places where opposites meet. Where fear meets courage and suffering meets freedom. Where solid ground ends in a cliff face. Where we can gain a view that takes in so much more of our world. And where we need to maintain great awareness, lest we trip and fall.”

Traits, behaviors, and emotions that we usually consider healthy—like altruism, empathy, engagement, respect, and integrity—can, when pursued to their extreme, tip our psychology over the edge from health into sickness.

we grow from falling over the edge. If we carefully observe and explore what Halifax terms the “edge states” of our psychology, we can turn what we learn into our greatest possible moments for growth and wisdom. And…just maybe…we can learn to pull ourselves back from the edge more often.