"Even if my expectations are unreasonable I would prefer to keep them"
"Even if my expectations are unreasonable I would prefer to keep them"

im actually just bottlenecked by expressing myself clearly
Expectation itself should not be seen as a bad thing. It depends on how you react to your own expectations and is a measure of how much trust you have in life.
Richard Rudd • The Gene Keys: Embracing Your Higher Purpose
That expectation isn’t specific; it’s emotional.