is your perfectionism coming from fear or from love?
love-based perfectionism sounds like:
- "I want to make this better"
- "I can see how beautiful this could be"
- "it'd be even more fun if I could do it this way"
fear-based perfectionism sounds... See more
scott 🌞x.comis your perfectionism coming from fear or from love? love-based perfectionism sounds like: - "I want to make this better" - "I can see how beautiful this could be" - "it'd be even more fun if I could do it this way" fear-based perfectionism sounds like: - "I need to make this better" - "I'm scared to put bad work into the world" - "I'd finally feel relief if I could just get this right" love-based perfectionism can be indulged, as it tends to lead you to greater heights with fear-based perfectionism, you have an opportunity to understand the underlying fear (e.g. "if I'm not competent, I'm not worthy of love") and move towards it with loving curiosity, so it can start to relax
two types of failure:
elegant failure: full initial commitment, little to no hesitation in taking action, recognition when it's not working, graceful pivot without falling into too much guilt/shame, always keeping a sense of abundant options
awkward failure: half-hearted commitment, belated... See more
scott 🌞x.comPerfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.
... See moreBrené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
I think perfectionism is just a high-end, haute couture version of fear. I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says, again and again, “I am not good enough
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