my arc rn: letting go of the idea I need fixing, but also learning to recognize that sometimes under the voice that says "I need fixing" is a voice saying "I'm in pain and alone, come find me & love me". and responding to that voice feels so different than trying to fix myself
Malcolm Ocean wants to help your courtshipx.commy arc rn: letting go of the idea I need fixing, but also learning to recognize that sometimes under the voice that says "I need fixing" is a voice saying "I'm in pain and alone, come find me & love me". and responding to that voice feels so different than trying to fix myself
So when they are criticizing you, look for the feeling and need underneath it and try to ask the person about that.
Steven Kessler • The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity
If there’s some sense of wanting to change yourself, then it comes from a place of feeling that you’re not good enough. It comes from aggression toward yourself, dislike of your present mind, speech, or body;
Pema Chödrön • Start Where You Are: How to accept yourself and others
When we listen empathically to ourselves, we will be able to hear the underlying need. Self-forgiveness occurs the moment this empathic connection is made. Then we are able to recognize how our choice was an attempt to serve life, even as the mourning process teaches us how it fell short of fulfilling our needs.