It's strange how much humility it takes to stop hating yourself. 'I am the cause of every problem in my life' is a grandiose belief just like any other. The fall from (dis)grace hits every bit as hard.
It's strange how much humility it takes to stop hating yourself. 'I am the cause of every problem in my life' is a grandiose belief just like any other. The fall from (dis)grace hits every bit as hard.
Stop making it harder on yourself by thinking about I, I, I. Stop putting that dangerous “I” in front of events. I did this. I was so smart. I had that. I deserve better than this. No wonder you take losses personally, no wonder you feel so alone. You’ve inflated your own role and importance.
Ryan Holiday • The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph
“I think particularly for people who have been abused, who have lived in poverty, who have dealt with real traumatic hardship, it can feed into and deepen this belief of, like, I am the reason that bad things happen to me,” she says. “They really believe these things in their life were caused by their beliefs.”
Stuart McGurk • Making dreams come true: inside the new age world of manifesting
Keely Adler added
The first step in healing anything is taking full accountability. It is no longer being in denial about the honest truth of your life and yourself. It does not matter what your life looks like on the outside; it is how you feel about it on the inside. It is not okay to be constantly stressed, panicked, and unhappy. Something is wrong, and the longe
... See moreBrianna Wiest • The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
I do not mean to imply that a person never suffers through accident or through the fault of others, nor that a person is responsible for everything in life that may happen to him or her. We are not omnipotent. But self-responsibility is clearly indispensable to good self-esteem. Avoiding self-responsibility victimizes us with regard to our own life
... See moreNathaniel Branden • Honoring the Self: The Pyschology of Confidence and Respect
Self-loathing is not productive and typically doesn’t result in better behavior. But if you can’t see yourself accurately, you can’t change anything, or have any impetus to change: loving yourself isn’t incompatible with believing you’re capable of more.
Cate Hall • Some Painful Questions We Ask Ourselves
Stuart Evans added
Understanding that they are the ultimate cause of what they experience keeps them out of falling into the trap of indignant passivity:
Brianna Wiest • 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think
“No one to blame!... That was why most people led lives they hated, with people they hated… How wonderful to have someone to blame! How wonderful to live with one’s nemesis! You may be miserable, but you feel forever in the right. You may be fragmented, but you feel absolved of all the blame for it. Take your life in your own hands, and what happen... See more
“It must be me. I’m flawed,” you decide. You blame yourself