Three signs you’re scared of feeling joy:
1 You think you have to earn it
2 You focus on what could go wrong rather than right
3 You constantly feel like the other shoe is going to drop
Three signs you’re scared of feeling joy: 1 You think you have to earn it 2 You focus on what could go wrong rather than right 3 You constantly feel like the other shoe is going to drop
Many people feel they do not deserve happiness, are not entitled to happiness, have no right to the fulfillment of their emotional needs and wants. Often they feel that if they are happy, either their happiness will be taken away from them, or something terrible will happen to counterbalance it, some unspeakable punishment or tragedy.
Nathaniel Branden • Honoring the Self: The Pyschology of Confidence and Respect
Once we have established something new in our lives, this fear can come up as a constant irrational worry that we’re “missing something,” that our partner is being unfaithful, or that we’re one misstep away from losing it all.
Brianna Wiest • The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
If you want out, if you want a decent life, you had better not devote your life to avoiding psychological pain. You had better not spend your life worrying about whether people like you or whether your car impresses people. What kind of life is that? It is a life of pain. You may not think that you feel pain that often, but you really do. To spend
... See moreMichael A. Singer • The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. No emotion is more frightening than joy, because we believe if we allow ourselves to feel joy, we are inviting disaster. We start dress-rehearsing tragedy in the best moments of our lives in order to stop vulnerability from beating us to the punch.
Brené Brown • Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
Best-selling author Jack Canfield once said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” And he’s right. But I’m going to take it one step further. Pain, discomfort, shock, boredom, impostor syndrome, awkwardness, fear, being wrong, failing, ignorance, looking stupid: Your avoidance of these feelings is stopping you from a life greater than
... See moreBenjamin Hardy • Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success
It’s strange, but I know that it’s common to resist positive emotions, as well as negative ones. Ask yourself, next time you’re doing something enjoyable: are you really surrendering to the full enjoyment available here? The answer will often be no. Perhaps this has something to do with how displays of rapturous delight are often discouraged in ado... See more
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Sasha Chapin
The types of fear our society (and parents, and friends) inflict upon us—fear of being the last single friend, fear of being an older parent, sometimes just fear of being judged or talked about—are the types that lead us to settle for a not-so-great partnership. The irony is that the only rational fear we should feel is the fear of spending the lat... See more
Tim Urban • How to Pick Your Life Partner
It’s strange, but I know that it’s common to resist positive emotions, as well as negative ones. Ask yourself, next time you’re doing something enjoyable: are you really surrendering to the full enjoyment available here? The answer will often be no. Perhaps this has something to do with how displays of rapturous delight are often discouraged in ado... See more