No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve or accomplish, you can’t move the needle enough to make you wake up the next morning feeling worthy or great about who you are. If you don’t feel worthy apart from your performance, you will hide and not attempt your dreams so you can’t fail and lose your worth.

Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.

A major problem with building competency is that the Dictator Within judges us so harshly for falling short of what it thinks our progress should be. It also convinces us that success is an end state, rather than an ongoing process of learning. In the same way that it can tell us that we will enjoy playing the guitar once we are in a band, it can f

Since they do not believe that their beingness is inherently valuable, the only way they can feel personally valuable is by succeeding according to some outside set of standards. One way they do this is by performing well.

A feeling that one doesn’t deserve to exist unless one meets the criteria of worldly success can do wonders for one’s productivity. Offering conditional love has a habit of getting people to meet one’s conditions.

You decide that the person you are is not enough, so you set a goal to achieve something. You implicitly make an agreement with yourself that you will only be worthy of your own love if the goal is obtained. If you don't meet the goal, you judge yourself accordingly. If you do meet the goal, your inner judge raises the bar.

After over a decade of working with individuals, I have found that there is one belief in particular that is prevalent in our modern society, especially among over-givers and highly sensitive people. This limiting belief is at the root of our disempowering thoughts, which keep us exhausted and keep us from taking time for ourselves and honoring our

For me, the struggle is that if I’m not performing well, then I believe I’m not worthy. I wasn’t performing well in my mind, therefore I wasn’t worthy; therefore, I was relating out of insecurity and blocking my ability to give her what she needed.