It seems that for me and other certainty-craving people, the real problem might not be the ghoul hiding around the corner or the possibility of singing off-key at the karaoke bar, but our pessimism about how it’ll make us feel.

I was reading a story in New York Magazine about post-pandemic “dulled social skills.” It’s a subject I talk to my friends about a lot because it’s one of the main sources of my anxiety. As a result of DMs, emails, texting, group texting, and this newsletter, I have experienced a blurring of social boundaries on an almost-daily basis. I’m becoming... See more

Be a disappointment

The older I get, the more convinced I become that it’s a critical life-skill – at least if you’re roughly the sort of person I am – to get better at disappointing other people.

I don’t just mean you should go easier on yourself when you catch yourself feeling bad for falling short of others’ expectations (although you should do... See more