Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? (Published 2012)
nytimes.com
Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? (Published 2012)
why it's hard to make friends as an adult:
where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests
where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context
where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests
where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context
Patricia Mou • Tweet
When you’re in middle age, which I am (mid-middle age, to be precise—I’m now 52), you start to realize how very much you need your friends. They’re the flora and fauna in a life that hasn’t had much diversity, because you’ve been so busy—so relentlessly, stupidly busy—with middle-age things: kids, house, spouse, or some modern-day version of Zorba’
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You need shared contexts and shared interests. The reason why it’s difficult to make friends as an adult is because where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests. Where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context. A place li... See more
The problem is that when it comes to friendship, we are ritual-deficient, nearly devoid of rites that force us together. Emily Langan, a Wheaton College professor of communication, argues that we need them. Friendship anniversaries. Regular road trips. Sunday-night phone calls, annual gatherings at the same rental house, whatever it takes. “We’re n... See more