Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: The Sunday Times bestseller, with over 1 million copies sold

Motivation is a wonderful by-product of action.

To build self-acceptance we first need to understand who we are and who we want to be.

Courage comes first, confidence comes second.

When we don’t have clarity on our values, we can set goals based on what we think we should be doing, others’ expectations, or a guess that once we achieve that goal, we will finally be enough,

When parents are able to reliably respond to their child’s emotional and physical needs, that child is able to learn over time that what she feels can be communicated, and responded to.

The partner can help this by providing more consistent connection without waiting for the other person to ask for it.

It means we are willing to let fear be present as we do the things that matter to us.

When feeling low, what are your go-to responses? Do those responses provide instant relief from the pain and discomfort? What effect do they have in the long term? What do they cost you? (Not in money, but in time, effort, health, progress.)

We build up templates for relationships from the very first relationships we have, with parents, siblings, extended family members and peers. We have to learn these lessons at our most vulnerable age, when we cannot choose our relationships but are wholly dependent on them for our survival.

regularly enjoying each other’s company and working hard to maintain mutual compassion and respect for each other, getting to know each other in the finest detail, finding ways to express appreciation and care in everyday life.