There is an important distinction between an inherent characteristic, rooted in an individual without regard to his environment, and a response to the environment, a pattern of behaviours developed to ensure survival.

Tuning out—by, say, daydreaming—enables the child to endure experiences that otherwise may trigger reactions that would land him in trouble. This kind

The great art is to express our vitality through the particular channels and at the particular speed Nature foresaw for us.”

If a person unconsciously fears the power of his aggressive impulses, there are various forms of defence available to him. One category of defence is discharge, by which we regress to an early childhood state when we dealt with the intolerable buildup of anger by acting it out. “You see, the acting-out, the yelling, the screaming and even the

Where parenting fails to communicate unconditional acceptance to the child, it is because of the fact that the child receives the parent’s love not as the parent wishes but as it is refracted through the parent’s personality.

“She comes along in your life when you are particularly emotionally needy and exhausted. I think her precocious intellectual development is what happens to bright and sensitive kids when the emotional environment isn’t able to hold them enough; they develop this very powerful intellect that holds them instead.

Anger does not require hostile acting out. First and foremost, it is a physiological process to be experienced. Second, it has cognitive value—it provides essential information. Since anger does not exist in a vacuum, if I feel anger it must be in response to some perception on my part. It may be a response to loss or the threat of it in a personal

Emotional experiences are translated into potentially damaging biological events when human beings are prevented from learning how to express their feelings effectively. That learning occurs—or fails to occur—during childhood.

For those habituated to high levels of internal stress since early childhood, it is the absence of stress that creates unease, evoking boredom and a sense of meaninglessness. People may become addicted to their own stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, Hans Selye observed. To such persons stress feels desirable, while the absence of it feels