Living under the dominance of his mother had given him the habit of not taking responsibility for his choices and of not accepting them as his own. It created a kind of emotional detachment, a sense of unreality in him for the consequences of his behavior toward others.

A role is an outside presentation to the world that does not reflect the True Self. Roles enforce a rigid response to life that would otherwise be more naturally variable. Families are often containers and reinforcers of roles that are sustained by the denial of feelings, the denial of reality, and escape into numbing comforts.

John and Linda Friel put it this way in their book The 7 Best Things Happy Couples Do: “Really great couples are willing to end it all, and so they never have to.” What the Friels are expressing here is that by having clear limits that could lead to divorce, each person in the couple affirms commitment to a healthy, clarified relationship.

Emasculation doesn’t indicate orientation. It reflects a sense of inadequacy that gets displaced onto sexual performance, a condition that affects gay and straight men alike.

Male Depression, notes that depression can show itself in men as irritability, aggression, anger, complaining, or acting out. Real suggests that both men and women look down on men who allow themselves to be seen as “weak” by admitting they feel depressed. Thus, it is “safer” to convert depression into other feelings. Depression in men, Real

If a MEM remains firm in his reasonable requests to his parents, they may acquiesce. If not, at least he is more clear on who he is and what he wants, an achievement in itself.

Depression also can be caused by an undifferentiated mass of feelings that has never been processed.

A MEM loses contact with himself. He is detached from his own feelings, wants, and needs. He learned at an early age to take care of his mother and to discount himself. This crushing of his emerging self in childhood divorces him from the soul of his individuality. His identity is lost.

A MEM has a core story that his unconscious is desperate to tell. When this storytelling process is allowed to happen, the MEM is then more free to be himself. He is less controlled by his unconscious templates.