What we lose when we start with the ending

Can you learn to enjoy the process as the end in itself, not the means?

In the beginning, the dissonance between the scale of your aspirations and the reality of your days will riddle you with anxiety. You will be tempted to strip the unknown of its surprises and travel to the future: What if my customers churn? What if a competitor introduces a be... See more

But having gone through it before, I now appreciate how rare it is to not-know something you care about and are willing into existence with its ultimate outcome truly unknown.

We lose the feeling that comes with a little mystery and a healthy amount of risk. When we don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, you know what happens? We get to be surprised. Our anticipation builds in the not knowing – better get there early to figure out getting in, ask others if it’s their first time, scan a pamphlet for clues or read seat... See more

I suppose this is what I mean when I say we cannot possibly know what will manifest in our lives. We live and have experiences and leave people we love and get left by them. People we thought would be with us forever aren’t and people we didn’t know would come into our lives do. Our work here is to keep faith with that, to put it in a box and wait.

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It was the idea of a “pathless path,” something I found in David Whyte’s book The Three Marriages. To Whyte, a pathless path is a paradox: “we cannot even see it is there, and we do not recognize it.”⁠1 To me, the pathless path was a mantra to reassure myself I would be okay. After spending the first 32 years of my life always having a plan, this k

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