What Is a Girl Worth?: My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth about Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics

Throughout this process, I have clung to a quote by C. S. Lewis, where he says, “My argument against God was that the universe seems so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of unjust and just? A man does not call a line crooked unless he first has some idea of straight. What was I comparing the universe to when I called it unjust?”

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. EPHESIANS 3:20-21

Prominent teachers had implied, “You haven’t really forgiven and trusted until you can be thankful for the evil done to you.” Is that really what forgiveness means? It wasn’t right, but I’d heard it from authority figures so often that I felt completely alone in my grief.

They taught us that their authority was limited and would only be exercised for the right reasons and in the right way. This meant that they would discuss their decisions with us, hear and respect our input, and work with us to find a way forward. It didn’t mean that obedience wasn’t necessary or that we were allowed to argue them into changing the

They also taught me that often kids who act out are angry and hurting, so it was important to feel compassion for them too. They told me to tell bullies the truth and remind them that they could, and should, be better—that they were responsible for their choices. And they told me to seek the help of an authority figure rather than angrily mete out

I wasn’t quite sure what to feel. It wasn’t the timing I would have picked, but in all the darkness, there was new life. And life was a gift. And I was secretly excited, despite being entirely unsure how it would all work out.

It wasn’t “good timing,” most would say, but that little baby was there, and its tiny heart was beating strong, and that little life had value. And we could rejoice in that.

“You always have a right to defend yourself and others,” they had said, “but never ever lash out in anger. Don’t become what you are fighting. Do only what is necessary to keep everyone safe.”

In other words, my motivation needed to be love—not anger, not revenge—which meant doing only what was necessary to restrain without a desire to harm the other person.