“As we’ve seen, all criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message. The more we practice in this way, the more we realize a simple truth: behind all those messages we’ve allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to... See more

It works best if we can develop a middle way. Instead of pushing, we step back and soften our boundary to include the intruder. We acknowledge that the other person has a point—what they’re asking seems perfectly reasonable to them. We give them some space, although we may not ultimately agree with them or do what they ask. On the other side,

... See more