
Saved by Keely Adler
Unpacking ‘The Secret Life of Secrets’
Saved by Keely Adler
Belief in secrets is an effective truth.
WHAT TO DO WITH SECRETS
PLEASE DON’T TELL? WELL, OKAY. MAYBE JUST ONE PERSON . . .
Keeping secrets is usually about power, about hiding and concealing information. Hence, many recovery programs stress that “you are only as sick as your secrets.”
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually “know the emotional costs of keeping a secret” until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.