added by Keely Adler · updated 2y ago
Unpacking our generational fear of codependency
The hyper-individualist finds himself enmeshed in a network of conditional love. I am worthy of being loved only when I have achieved the status or success the world expects of me. I am worthy of love only when I can offer the other person something in return. I am what the world says about me. In the end, hyper-individualism doesn’t make people se
... See morefrom The Second Mountain by David Brooks
Nico Choksi added
sari and added
To have autonomy without interdependency leads to isolation or narcissism. To have interdependency with no autonomy stunts our psychological growth. Healthy people live in social groups that have learned to balance or, better, marry these two imperatives.
from Team Human by Douglas Rushkoff
sari added
- codependency is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders; nor has there been substantial research on the concept. Some people may find it to be a useful tool for explaining bad relationship habits, but the term’s popularity also gestures at something worrisome: an avoidance of vulnerability and the natural asymmetries in rel... See more
juliana ong added
“The Myth of Codependency” Source
Perhaps most damaging, it includes a toxic individualism that creates barriers to deep connection and intimacy. When we are oriented toward doing it ourselves and getting ours, we cut ourselves off from the kinds of relationships that can…
Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.from How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community by Mia Birdsong
It’s liberation from the idea that we can self-optimize ourselves to the point of not needing anyone else. That if we work hard enough to survive in a competitive economy, we’ll be able to buy, order, or summon anything we might need within 24 hours, and that is somehow progress. That instead of asking for help and support from the people and frien
... See morefrom Aliveness: Reframing Productivity by Thomas Klaffke
Nicole Woods added
- Millions of people — and white people in particular — would rather endure physical isolation, generalized loneliness, caregiving exhaustion, and financial precarity than relinquish some of their societal power. That’s a far less optimistic foundational myth than individualism. But it’s a far more honest one.
from The Dark Heart of Individualism
Natalie Audelo and added
- The philosopher Hannah Arendt wrote presciently about the danger of a society of lonely individuals. She defined loneliness not as solitude—since solitude is where one can reflect on their connection to themselves and others and really prepare themselves for encountering others. She described loneliness as isolation and even alienation from others ... See more
from Hope Beyond Rugged Individualism by Tara McMullin
Keely Adler added