Like Christina, whether we want to share an idea or innovation, push back against a strategy we’re convinced won’t work, or have a hard conversation with a friend, speaking up can be costly.

If we can identify the assumptions, we can check and challenge them to see whether they still serve and support the people we want to be. Until we pause to identify and interrogate them, the assumptions remain the invisible forces that drive us.

Women are expected to sacrifice their time, ambition, and sense of selves for others.

But our instincts can be dulled. Our bodies find ways to cope. Our alarm systems recalibrate. Our ability to feel and imagine decreases.[22]

each of us brings a different perspective to topics and the world.

As you read, ask yourself: Where might I have fallen into these patterns? Am I doing this right now? What could I do instead?

Policies have the power to exclude—and therefore silence—groups of people.

If we value the intimacy of relationship and the dignity of being known, unlearning silence is not only a journey for ourselves, but needs to be a shared personal value and norm in our families, friendships, and partnerships.

If we need to wait until we can all meet the standard of being well rested, well nourished, and supposedly clearheaded before we can use our voices, we’re dismissing and discounting voices that don’t have the systemic advantage to be in that life situation.