Maybe it is during these times spent single, facing the crashing waves of self-reflection, that we are free to be at our most authentic and electrified. And to become a bigger, better version of ourselves to take into a relationship again, if we so choose.

the amount of time we’ll be single. But we’re allowed to recognise that those two things aren’t correlated at all. Relationships happen, love happens. We can’t control, plan or cause these things with all of our toiling away in the dating space.

A truly important thing to understand about being single and actively dating is that dating is one area of life where effort doesn’t match reward. If you want to learn a new language, you study, and then you know a new language. If you want to bake a cake, you mix the ingredients, bake and enjoy. But not in the dating space. You can put all the eff

So when you feel like you’re being left behind, remember: life is not a race. Being in a relationship is not a sign of happiness or success, nor is it always for ever.

ninety-two undergraduates who had experienced a recent romantic break-up reported, on average, five positive types of personal growth that they thought might improve their future romantic relationships. These ranged from boosted self-confidence to learning how to be a better partner and, perhaps most crucially of all, how to choose

I know that putting less effort into dating sounds terrifying, because we associate that reduction in effort with an increase in

have stuff to do; not getting annoyed when they say they don’t want a dessert and then eat yours; letting go the fact that they didn’t sweep the floor when they said they would sweep the floor.

while doing the absolute least.

It’s possible to stop giving so much of your energy to dating and still meet someone anyway.