Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class

I figured Professor Haidt would speak about moral psychology, the theme of his book. But instead, on the day of the talk, Haidt discussed the purpose of a university. He urged the audience to consider whether the aim of higher education is to protect students or to equip them with the ability to seek truth, and he was clearly in favor of the latter

You might think that, for example, rich students at elite universities would be happy because their parents are in the top 1 percent of income earners, and that statistically they will soon join their parents in this elite guild. But remember, they’re surrounded by other members of the 1 percent. For many elite college students, their social circle

I’ve also heard graduates of top universities say marriage is “just a piece of paper.” People shouldn’t have to prove their commitment to their spouse with a document, they tell me. I have never heard them ridicule a college degree as “just a piece of paper.” Many affluent people belittle marriage, but not college, because they view a degree as cri

Though crestfallen that my adoptive dad abandoned me, I didn’t want to hurt Mom. I didn’t want to hurt. I’d long associated despair with relocation—in my mind they had become interlaced. And so, deep down, I feared that if I expressed sorrow, it would lead to a placement into yet another family.

Sometimes actions and outcomes are linked, I thought. But sometimes, shit just happens.

External accomplishments are trivial compared with a warm and loving family. Going to school is far less important than having a parent who cares enough to make sure you get to class every day.

That was the language many students used. Danger and harm and pain. Words like trauma meant something different for them.

The luxury belief class claims that the unhappiness associated with certain behaviors and choices primarily stems from the negative social judgments they elicit, rather than the behaviors and choices themselves. But, in fact, negative social judgments often serve as guardrails to deter detrimental decisions that lead to unhappiness. In order to avo

“I just realized something,” I said after a pause. “That means I never loved anyone during all that time either.” For some reason, this hit me harder than realizing that no one had loved me. I lost it and started bawling.