Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class

For behaviors and habits to be stable and predictable, one’s environment needs to be stable and predictable.

Later, confirming my hunch that she was an eccentric woman, Mrs. Martínez bought a parrot, which she named Carlos but insisted I refer to as Mr. Carlos. Sometimes I would purposely call him Carlos just to upset Mrs. Martínez. I was scared of this bird but still had to feed him. And as long as I did my chores, Mrs. Martínez didn’t seem to care if I

The human mind is a remarkable contraption, great at keeping us psychologically buoyant in periods of chaos and allowing us to pay the price later, once the storm has settled.

The luxury belief class claims that the unhappiness associated with certain behaviors and choices primarily stems from the negative social judgments they elicit, rather than the behaviors and choices themselves. But, in fact, negative social judgments often serve as guardrails to deter detrimental decisions that lead to unhappiness. In order to avo

That’s never been my intention—I don’t want pity. I’m one of the lucky ones.

But whatever authority I have to speak about the matters contained within this book comes from the origins of my name itself, not the credentials after it.

No institution is more aware of the latent impulsivity and stupidity in young people, especially young men, than the military.

John’s dad would sometimes say, “If you don’t open your mouth, then no one will know you’re stupid.” John and I had learned on our own that, similarly, if you don’t get caught, then no one will know you’re a troublemaker.

In our next seminar, we discussed a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

Once something becomes too popular, the elites update their tastes to distinguish themselves from ordinary people.