But the precise degree of bearability of those problems could be measured by the fact that it felt worthwhile for this woman to leave when she thought she had someplace great to go to and it didn’t feel worthwhile to leave when she had nowhere to go to. Years later she and her husband are still

You’ve got to tell your partner what they are. But in doing so you can’t seem as though you’re threatening. It’s got to come across as a factual statement about what’s real for you. You’ve got to follow through. A bottom line

women are often more motivated by fear of loss than men are, less willing to take risks.

But her partner felt bored, trapped, humiliated, and deprived by this lovemaking that went on for hours and hours and used up every bit of spare time.

Hank put up an inner barrier that allowed him to not seem to experience the feelings his partner’s putdowns must have been stimulating in him. And because he couldn’t imagine that the person he wanted to love him would feel so little respect toward him, he was able to deny that the disrespect was happening at all. These are the four things that

It led to Ann’s need to give herself permission to get clear about this relationship and act on that clarity. Eventually we

if you feel like strangling them because you have so little or because they’ve taken so much from you? Another reason you can’t listen is that

Italy. And, he later realized, he was scared and habit-ridden. So he stayed in his old house in his old city surrounded

Another reason you might not see that your needs are being obliterated is that some consummately subtle power people always know when to stop one step short of your consciously feeling your needs are obliterated. If you fall into this category, you’ll sincerely answer no to question #7 because of the way now and then one of your needs does get sati