I am a solitary person but had work and friends and travel before all this. I could stay in really well because I went out really well.

Normally, I’m a horrible liar. But when it comes to lies that don’t matter, I can be frighteningly good. I sometimes wonder if this makes me slightly sociopathic.

I’ve always been sad this time of year. I remember not quite having the vocabulary as a kid to describe how I could smell the end of summer in the air and it would make me want to cry.

I wish you could see I see my shit as “gross” too, but it’s real. And I wish you could see I don’t want it.

I don’t mean to say I believe in fate. I just mean I’ve always felt like the chaotic one trying to figure out how to fit into the world around me. Now in this isolation, it seems like the world is disjointed and figuring itself out, and I’m the one with some type of order, waiting on the world to find its axis again.

1. Nothing too heavy. 2) Notice the sunshine. 3) It’s okay to cry as much as it’s okay to laugh. 4) Say yes to these Instagram Live shows more often. 5) Do your makeup if you want. Feel pretty. 6) Don’t feel bad for wanting to feel pretty. 7) Trust yourself just enough to know that although you think the idea that everything happens for a reason is

a homemade wallet made of index cards that she’d painted and then laminated with packing tape and stitched together. It was a swirling mix of dark purple and blue and black. I thought it was really really pretty. She wrote a note with the wallet. I can’t remember her exact wording but she said something along the lines of, “Sometimes the most

we can’t truly express our sympathies to each other because we are still grieving ourselves.

I’m laughing so hard the whole time. I stop for a second every now and then, wondering if there’s something I should be worried about. But I let it go, I’m fine, and I let myself just laugh. And I just keep laughing. It feels so good.