The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition)

Women can attract you, heal you, and inspire your gifts, but they will never satisfy you absolutely. Never. And you know this. This is why women are so frustrating to you. Their promise attracts you, in one way or another, perhaps many times a day. And yet, throughout your life, you have learned and will continue to learn that they cannot make good

Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you give her love or analyze her when she is upset. It’s so easy to give her love; it’s what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That’s exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the

This way, you will never lose perspective and begin to think that life is a matter of tasks. You are not a drone. You are the unbounded mystery of love. Be so, without forgetting your tasks.

when you deny your true core you deny the possibility of true and real love. Love is openness, through and through. And true spirituality is the practice of love, the practice of openness. A person who denies their own essence and hides their true desires is divided and unable to relax into the full openness of love.

The world will test you with dark, wild, and resistive energies financially and spiritually, for example, in the same way your woman is testing you emotionally. If you hide your deepest gifts from her in fear, you will also hide your deepest gifts from the world in fear. If you give up at a certain point with her, you will likewise only go so far i

you need not stop chasing. Instead, chase. Allow yourself to feel how badly you want her. Feel how deep is the itch you want scratched. Feel the need that drives you, for most of your adult life, to yearn for a woman, in flesh or in fantasy. And discover what it is you really want. You’ve had tit. You’ve had pussy. You’ve had nurturing. You’ve had

Spend time every day in solitude, with no distractions. Just sit, for ten minutes. No fidgeting, no channel surfing, no magazine thumbing. Just be, exactly as you are, not trying to change anything. Stay with your suffering, until you fall through it and intuit the groundless source of your life.

How would you have lived your life differently if you had never tried to please your father? If you never tried to show your father that you were worthy? If you never felt burdened by your father’s critical eye? For the next three days, do at least one activity a day that you have avoided or suppressed because of the influence of your father.

the capacity to feel this moment, including your fear, without trying to escape it, creates a state of alive and humble spontaneity.