Bourdain taught me that culture is more than aesthetics. It’s how people survive. It’s what they sing when they’re hurting. It’s the rituals of joy in the middle of chaos. It’s rock shows and battered notebooks, food stalls and high art, leather jackets and hand-me-down wisdom.

Psychology has names for this. Repetition. Secondary gain. Familiar distress . The language is accurate but bloodless. It doesn’t capture the aesthetic pleasure of melancholy well-worn, the satisfaction of being able to say this is why I am like this . It doesn’t account for how seductive it can feel to remain loyal to a wound rather than risk a... See more