Mine are: consistent contact, exclusivity and fidelity, harmony and mutual respect, plus a desire to forge something long term.

‘Then, when we find we can’t change the ending, and that we still can’t transform the withholding into adoration, we’ll try to change them.’ They poke parts of us that are already bruised, and arguments are a result.

Don’t play it safe, in your imaginings. Write a list of things you long for, that don’t include any kind of romantic entanglement, and then go after them with all of the caution and trepidation of a comet.

she’s never, ever had a patient regret breaking up with an ex on social media.

nature. With dogs. With yourself. And yes, you can also have a relationship with a man, but if it’s going to be a shitty one, it’s better to have a relationship with your flowers.’

WHAT NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE SINGLE

Friends of mine have told me that they will always maintain their own property, no matter what betrothal or babies lie ahead, as an insurance fund. Property is power.

Plus, snooping only ever turns up the bad. Hence the oh-so-true saying that, ‘Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves’.

The ability to stand alone, to provide for myself, appeared to be part of the antidote to my man-vacancy panic.