Bona fide other-focus requires mindfulness, compassion, patience, and generosity.

Any fear of appearing stupid or unprepared is subordinated by a desire to learn. Any desire to show off what you know or prove your worth is trumped by a genuine interest in another.

most powerful step in the trust creation process (and the least practiced) is the listening step. The two most common errors in practice are inadequate listening and jumping too quickly to the final, action step—to commit.

Strategies to lower your self-orientation include: Taking the time to find the best solution. Sharing time, resources, and ideas. Asking lots of questions from a place of curiosity to figure out what success for your partner really looks like. Negotiating for a true win-win. Listening even when it is uncomfortable to be silent. Speaking hard

focus on four specific principles governing trustworthy behavior:

Trust is much the same. People know when it exists and when it doesn’t, but cannot explain why or how it exists. And the concept of building trust seems even harder to describe, let alone implement.

“I have always believed that if I could help someone get more of what’s important to him as a person, then everything else will take care of itself.

The thing about trusting is that it’s catching. The way you behave toward others influences the way they respond back to you. Whether you expect the best or the worst of people, you’ll almost always be right. —Charles H. Green

characterized by reciprocity. If Person A trusts Person B, the odds are that Person B will behave in a more trustworthy manner than if Person A is suspicious of her. Leaders who are willing to trust their followers produce more trustworthy teams. Followers who are willing to trust their leaders invite them to live by a more trustworthy standard.