Remind yourself that the ultimate objective of the meeting is to improve your partner’s situation, as well as the relationship between you. Period.

Real trust does not need verification; if you have to verify, it is not trust.

Here are three steps to being more influential: 1. Change the way you think about how people think. 2. Understand an important driver of influence: reciprocity. 3. Do a better job of listening, not a better job of making your case.

to influence effectively, you must redirect your efforts from convincing the other person’s intellect to winning the other person’s heart.

dramatic ending to the play: the decision to put the work out to bid was rescinded, and the firm got the job back. Why? Because the audit partners had been able to prove they understood their clients’ concerns—in a dramatic and effective demonstration of empathy. They showed they had finally been listening. As a result, they won the right to try

The better you know your own quirks and foibles, the more you can work every day to manage them and focus on others. (See Chapter 10 “Know Yourself.”)

variable most people identify as a significant opportunity for improvement in the trust equation is self-orientation.

A collaborative approach to relationships.

medium- to long-term relationship perspective, not a short-term transactional focus. Focusing on relationships nurtures transactions, whereas focusing on transactions chokes off relationships.