most powerful step in the trust creation process (and the least practiced) is the listening step. The two most common errors in practice are inadequate listening and jumping too quickly to the final, action step—to commit.

There are two signs that Name It and Claim It may be called for: (1) when you want to raise a topic that you might otherwise be tempted to avoid and (2) situations that require a metaconversation to break an ineffective pattern.

Any fear of appearing stupid or unprepared is subordinated by a desire to learn. Any desire to show off what you know or prove your worth is trumped by a genuine interest in another.

focus on four specific principles governing trustworthy behavior:

A major factor affecting trustworthiness is the issue of whether you are self-focused or other-focused. A great phrase to remember is this: “It’s not about you.” If you can remember that, then you will always remember trust is about relationships.

You claim you are collaborative and yet you … Don’t present your ideas until they are fully formed and polished. Secretly love to win arguments. Practice sales techniques like “Always Be Closing.”

Trust is much the same. People know when it exists and when it doesn’t, but cannot explain why or how it exists. And the concept of building trust seems even harder to describe, let alone implement.

Real trust does not need verification; if you have to verify, it is not trust.

greatest opportunity for distinguishing yourself in the realm of trustworthiness: Increase intimacy and lower self-orientation.