The most obvious cue for Active Love comes when someone does something to you that makes you angry: it could be anything from your son failing to take out the garbage to a colleague stealing your idea. Typically, you’ll overreact. Your anger is either disproportionate, or you just can’t let go of it; probably both. The cue is anger: the moment you

I’m supposed to use the Reversal of Desire every time I do something I’d rather avoid, every time I think about something I’d rather avoid, and every time something bad happens. How do you expect me to do all this work on top of everything else I have going on in my life?

always confused me that psychotherapy never addressed the need for courage directly—every patient I’ve ever had wanted more of it.

The advertising industry spends billions of dollars each year—all of it preying on our need for acceptance. Every advertisement boils down to a simple message: if you buy our product you’ll be accepted, loved, part of the in-crowd; if you don’t you’re stuck … alone with your Shadow.

Inner Authority Imagine that you’re standing in front of an audience of one or many. See an image of your Shadow off to one side, facing you. Ignore the audience completely and focus all of your attention on the Shadow. Feel an unbreakable bond between the two of you—as a unit you’re fearless. Together, you and the Shadow forcefully turn toward the

“Events are temporary. You need to find a permanent source of jeopardy. There’s only one thing you’re at risk of losing every moment.” “What is it?” “Your future.”

there’s a more crucial difference between a tool and an attitude. An attitude consists of thoughts happening inside your head—even if you change it, you’re working within the limitations you already have. The most profound value of a tool is that it takes you beyond what happens inside your head. It connects you to a world infinitely bigger than

Over and over again, we’ve seen how hard it is to make insecurity go away. Facts and logic don’t work. Insecure people often go to extraordinary lengths for some goal they hope will make them feel better—they’ll lose weight, get an advanced degree, work 24–7 to win a promotion. But every time, the sense of inadequacy returns; insecurity seems to

Inner Authority Imagine that you’re standing in front of an audience of one or many. See an image of your Shadow off to one side, facing you. Ignore the audience completely and focus all of your attention on the Shadow. Feel an unbreakable bond between the two of you—as a unit you’re fearless. Together, you and the Shadow forcefully turn toward the