Separate goals from values. Goals come and go. Values endure. For example, maybe you value health and want to run a marathon. The marathon is a goal. You either complete it or you don’t, but there is no endpoint regarding health and fitness. You can always improve your knowledge, your endurance, your diet. There is no finish line, there is only the

The DU researchers found that some couples who would otherwise never have married do so out of the sheer force of inertia (Stanley, Rhoades, and Markman 2006). The puppy, the shared furniture, the joint tenancy on the lease—it all adds up to a level of commitment difficult to escape because it’s easier to take the next step and keep moving forward

The purpose of timeouts is first and foremost to break the cycle of repetitive, counterproductive arguments, and they happen to be a wonderful way to test her willingness at the beginning of a relationship to break away from conflict and return with a rational, solution-focused mindset.

That’s a lot to look for on the first few dates. Let’s narrow it down to five non-negotiable, must-have emotional skills that any wife or girlfriend should possess. Insight Intellectual nuance Resilience Internalization Self-maintenance

If her skills are unreliable, she may revert to more primitive means of expressing herself, such as tantrums and passive-aggressiveness.

Yet women sometimes expect men to function like women, and we men are just as guilty of wishing they functioned like us. They wonder, Why can’t he be more sensitive? We wonder, Why can’t she just drop it and move on? We confuse the hell out of each other because we’re speaking slightly different languages.

As Baumeister wrote, If the culture can convince most or all of the men to produce more than they consume, then the culture will be rich. It will have a surplus, at least, that it can use to take care of many who cannot care for themselves, including the children, the elderly, the sick and injured.

The safe bet compelled him to work hard for acceptance. The only way to lose was not to try, according to the data his mind had collected. He had lost the battle for acceptance with his parents, and his mind was simply generalizing about the world from that outdated experience.

If a guy merely intends to start meeting a better class of woman, but expects deep down that he’ll fail, then he’s likely to fail.