The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

Emotional maturity is often the opposite of emotional impulse. The most basic mammalian response to crisis is fighting, fleeing, or freezing.

Paradoxically, gaining acceptance and respect from women means refusing to apologize for possessing responsibilities. How can we ask her to accept this part of our nature if we implicitly reject it by begging forgiveness? It is a special requirement of male mental health, and for that we needn’t explain ourselves.

In the service of seeing past this and other obstacles, let’s lay out a few qualities of the mature woman who has what it takes to succeed in relationships: She can calm herself when she’s sad or angry She accepts reality She can tolerate distress She keeps commitments She bases important decisions on values rather than impulse She takes care of re

If she externalizes, and she’s always comfortable in her role as victim, then she’s bound to one day label you as her oppressor. I wouldn’t wait around for her to mature because growth requires the same internalization skills she lacks.

The danger in dating women who haven’t come to terms with their history is twofold. First, their unresolved emotional pain can bring you costly drama that you didn’t create and don’t deserve. Second, you may end up like Anthony, unwittingly cast in the role of the villain as she reenacts her history.

If her skills are unreliable, she may revert to more primitive means of expressing herself, such as tantrums and passive-aggressiveness.

Continuing on our risk-management foundation, we’re going to focus on giving her an accurate picture of yourself from the beginning. We want her to make an informed decision, and the most accurate impression comes from action more than words.

Divorce is something to be discussed before marriage, and that discussion needs to include whatever assets each of you may need to protect. The time to consult with attorneys is when you’re combining your assets at the beginning, not when you’re dividing them at the end.

Her: I feel like you don’t respect me very much when you mock my cooking in front of your parents. Him: What are you talking about? It was just a joke. You know they’re crazy about you, and so am I. You’re being hypersensitive. She’s asserting a desire, but doing so in a subtle, easy-to-ignore manner. His response misses the point entirely. Here’s