The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

situations. (Remember, emotions are just feedback.)

The narrower and rarer the identity you choose for yourself, the more everything will seem to threaten you. For that reason, define yourself in the simplest and most ordinary ways possible.

The mark of an unhealthy relationship is two people who try to solve each other’s problems in order to feel good about themselves.

It takes years of practice and effort to get good at identifying blind spots in ourselves and then expressing the affected emotions appropriately. But this task is hugely important, and worth the effort.

Take a moment and think of something that’s really bugging you. Now ask yourself why it bugs you. Chances are the answer will involve a failure of some sort. Then take that failure and ask yourself why it seems like a failure. What if that failure wasn’t really a failure? What if you’ve been looking at it the wrong way?

Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.

If we follow the “do something” principle, failure feels unimportant. When the standard of success becomes merely acting—when any result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite—we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail, and that failure moves us forward.

We are defined by what we choose to

said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”

We joke online about “first-world problems,” but we really have become victims of our own success. Stress-related health issues, anxiety disorders, and cases of depression have skyrocketed over the past thirty years, despite the fact that everyone has a flat-screen TV and can have their groceries delivered. Our crisis is no longer material; it’s ex