Kids may trust their parents in specific domains, such as physical safety, and this is of course crucial. But there is an enormous difference between partial and total trust. If kids don’t trust their parents completely, then that means there are some issues where kids will seek guidance from someone else. Therefore, rules—contrary to their stated

Eating may be the most personal human experience.

When faced with a gatekeeper, the creative mind can’t help but think of ways around this barrier. “Maybe I’ll sneak the cookie when she’s not looking. Maybe I’ll lie. Maybe I’ll find a different adult who will do it for me. Maybe I can make her feel guilty about something and give in. Or maybe I can just wear her down by asking.” Even if the issue

The reason kids should have free rein with regard to food is that they are building an understanding of how to eat in the same way that they are building an understanding of everything else in life: by exploration, discovery, and trial and error.

The reason kids should have free rein with regard to food is that they are building an understanding of how to eat in the same way that they are building an understanding of everything else in life: by exploration, discovery, and trial and error.

Specifically, there are two kinds of good interpersonal constraints: Other people’s boundaries. We don’t want kids to think they can demand anything they want from others. Constraints that they accept voluntarily, such as the rules of a game or conventions of politeness.

It is hard to imagine something more damaging to a life well lived than anxiety around eating.

Forcing always introduces confusion, extra layers of problems to solve, or both.

with respect and support for an individual’s tastes and preferences. Replace “find yourself” with “develop your tastes and preferences.”