An injunction to self-discovery can feel profound and mystical, and its appeal to young people is featured in film, music, and fashion. It is held up as a marker of individualism and stands in contrast against communitarian group identification. Individualism is indeed worth celebrating, but not like this. It is better to support individualism

with respect and support for an individual’s tastes and preferences. Replace “find yourself” with “develop your tastes and preferences.”

First Foul: The Parent–Child Relationship Rule enforcement damages the relationship between parent and child in several ways. When you, the parent, are enforcing limits on food, on staying up, or on using screens, you become the gatekeeper to these things. And gatekeepers are always obstacles to be opposed and outmaneuvered.

The simplest way to describe Taking Children Seriously is to describe what it is not. Taking Children Seriously avoids the two

So what is it? Instead of focusing on rules, Taking Children Seriously focuses on fostering understanding. Parenting is the process of supporting a child until they understand the world well enough that they can support themselves. What is the best way to foster understanding? To provide freedom and security

To have any hope in finding a win–win, I needed to lighten up. So, the next time I went to change his diaper, I just tried playing with him. I found myself hunched over him, singing a goofy song and rocking back and forth while he giggled. Somehow, I managed to get him changed, all while rocking and laughing. It was messy at first, but the more I t

To be sure, children are ignorant of the background knowledge that adults have, but that’s what childhood is—the process of building up sufficient background knowledge so that they don’t need an adult to take care of them.

The notion that a major project in life is to find one’s true self is a harmful idea. People don’t have a true self, essential and unchanging, and life is not a journey in search of it. Popper’s epistemology shows why: a true, essential, and unchanging self would represent an ultimate truth, one that can’t be altered or improved upon.

questions that frame almost every other school of thought on parenting: What are the necessary limitations, restrictions, or boundaries for kids? Where should the parent draw the line on what is allowed and disallowed? How do parents enforce these lines, limits, and expectations? Should they use harsh words, positive reinforcement, time-outs, confi