The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A practical guide from the international bestselling relationship expert

most marriages (including healthy, happy ones) follow a comparable pattern of conflict in which the wife, who is constitutionally better able to handle the stress, brings up sensitive issues.

Then say to your partner, “I want to respond to you positively, so can you please tell me what you need right now from me? I really want to know.”

But others need to decompress on their own for a while before they’re ready to interact. Be aware of the ideal timing for each of you so that you are both in the mood to talk.

The point isn’t to be dishonest. It’s just that timing is everything.

What would be a good sex ritual?

Only discuss yourself. Use “I statements” (“I heard you say . . .”) not “You statements” (“You said . . .”).

(Be careful not to address any issues right before bedtime. This could interfere with your sleep.)

They assume the best about each other and their relationship.

What are your concerns?