So before you reply defensively to your partner, pause for a moment and search for a bid underneath your partner’s harsh words. Then, focus on the bid, not the delivery.

All criticism is painful. Unlike complaints—specific requests for change—criticism doesn’t make a marriage better. It inevitably makes it worse.

Reunions. We recommend a hug and a kiss that lasts at least six seconds. The six-second kiss is worth coming home to.

“When you are in pain, the world stops and I listen.”

What’s going on? Do you feel like you’ve lost something?”

Since marital confrontation that activates vigilance takes a greater physical toll on the male, it’s no surprise that men are more likely than women to attempt to avoid it.

The research shows that if your discussion begins with a harsh start-up, it will inevitably end on a negative note, even if there are a lot of attempts to “make nice” in between.

“What can I do to make you feel loved this coming week?”

mercy is “twice blessed. It blesses him that gives and him that takes.”