practical way of executing this vision is to divide your resources into three pots: yours, mine, and ours.

caretakers who are not biological parents who help raise us. The

‘preserve the core/stimulate progress.’

oscillating family narrative.

Bloom said children go through

“A simple rule can help: before an issue is discussed, all members should be asked to write a very brief summary of their position.”

All families have conflict; strong families have enough communal high points to outshine the low ones.

“If you’re trying to identify your family’s core values,” he said, “the most important thing is to identify what your values actually are, not what you think they should be. If you come at this whole thing as ‘we should have value X’ and you don’t, the process will fail. Only if they’re deeply authentic can you hold on to them when it’s

term for such individuals is “alloparent.”