The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

Because you’re convinced that each new endeavor will be your undoing, your run-up to each test, presentation, or challenge brings tremendous anxiety and self-doubt. You think, One false move and I’m out. This apprehension is typically followed by success, and finally by skeptical relief. It is a pattern that endlessly repeats itself.

If you believe that up until now you’ve somehow managed to fool people into thinking you’re smarter or more talented than you “really” are, then what’s your number one fear going to be? Being found out, right? Perpetually waiting to be “outed” as an impostor is stressful and exhausting.

Stereotypes matter because they are so easily internalized as the truth, which, as repeated studies have shown, can in turn affect behavior.

I know it’s hard to talk about how great you are, especially when you’re not convinced yourself. But it’s a heck of a lot harder to get noticed if you keep your own accomplishments a closely guarded secret. If you’re not telling your story, who will?

If you’ve ever sat in a classroom or meeting and felt your contributions were ignored, you won’t be surprised to learn that when female students feel their questions are dismissed by professors, their self-confidence declines; conversely, feeling heard boosts women’s confidence.

Jack, a bright graduate student at Carnegie Mellon University, believes his parents’ inclination to praise only his approach is what led to his own tendency to rationalize away his accomplishments and to feel guilty when the process doesn’t match the outcome. For example, if Jack aces a class without extraordinary effort, he feels undeserving of th

Holding back can also take the form of what Clance and Imes refer to as “intellectual inauthenticity.” You remain silent in the face of opposing opinions.

I’ve met plenty of people who tell me they’ve read all the advice books out there but “nothing worked.” My question to them is always the same: “Did you apply the advice?” The answer is always no. It’s always easier to keep reading than it is to stop and do the exercises, and trying on new behaviors does require you to stretch in sometimes uncomfor

point to four coping and protecting mechanisms: diligence and hard work, holding back, charm, and procrastination.1 In my own work I’ve observed three more: maintaining a low or ever-changing profile, never finishing, and self-sabotage.