In anger, we have a “glare,” where the upper eyelid is raised and the brow is lowered, that puts pressure on the upper eyelid, and the lower eyelid is tense.

Not surprisingly, the emotions that are most quickly and readily detected in the face and eyes are fear, anger, and surprise,

Darwin’s second principle, “antithesis,” comes into play. Darwin says that an “indignant man, who resents, and will not submit to some injury” adopts a stance like “A” above, with straight frame, shoulders straight ahead, puffed chest, and fists ready for action, with primed arm and leg muscles, narrowed eyes, and a stiff jaw. However, he says: The

This is what Goleman refers to as “attunement,” another crucial part of our social intelligence. He calls this an “agendaless presence”—it’s an ability to just be with another person, experiencing him

“standing tall and straight,” is the universal expression of readiness, preparedness, and confidence in the face of a challenge.

“mirror neurons.” These are neurons interspersed throughout various systems in our brain that are highly sensitive to—and take as their primary input—the emotional states of other people. And their primary output is recreating those same emotional states within ourselves.

The true smile of enjoyment, what I have called the “Duchenne smile,” involves movement of a muscle around the eye—orbicularis oculi, pars lateralis—which causes the eye coverfold to move down very slightly.

We’re going to get over our fear and discomfort around eye contact—“systematically desensitize” ourselves to it—in several manageable steps: Making progressively lengthy eye contact with a friend or family

primal empathy is a key component in social intelligence. Instantly grasping and internalizing what someone else is feeling is crucial for anticipating that person’s needs and responding appropriately; if someone feels that you “get them,” no matter how close or distant the relation, that person is bound to feel more connected and trusting of you.