The Power of Eye Contact

The true smile of enjoyment, what I have called the “Duchenne smile,” involves movement of a muscle around the eye—orbicularis oculi, pars lateralis—which causes the eye coverfold to move down very slightly.

Standing tall and straight, with chest forward and shoulder down, elbows slightly out and forearms in with knuckles out, facing the man squarely, with narrow eyes;

In anger, we have a “glare,” where the upper eyelid is raised and the brow is lowered, that puts pressure on the upper eyelid, and the lower eyelid is tense.

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“The eye is already important for many primates, and we humans with our whites around our eyes have enhanced that. By putting whites around the iris, the direction of movement becomes even more conspicuous.”9

the evidence is as close to conclusive as evidence ever gets, that Darwin was right and Mead was wrong: there are six or seven emotions that have a universal expression.4 The role of the eyes—or the muscles around the eyes, to be precise—is the same,

primal empathy is a key component in social intelligence. Instantly grasping and internalizing what someone else is feeling is crucial for anticipating that person’s needs and responding appropriately; if someone feels that you “get them,” no matter how close or distant the relation, that person is bound to feel more connected and trusting of you.

Seeing an eye glazed over, or glassy, you feel as though there is an extra layer in between you and the person inside. While that outside barrier might be slightly shiny, there is no depth at all—not the deep, radiant oceans of reflection on an eye we call “sparkly” or “shiny.”

When you talk to this person, you feel heard and understood, as though this person really gets you.