The image conjured up by the ideology of casual sex, of the "two independent equals making a rational, adult choice", is a total phantom. Socially, both of them may stand on their own two feet. Academically, both may be of equal learning and capacity for reason. Legally, both may be adults with equal rights under the law. Psychologically, both may... See more

Finding the answer takes a dedication to yourself and others, a genuine care about both your boundaries, a willingness to contribute to another person's fulfilled life, a deeply self-critical and low-ego honesty, a drudging up of the lightest and darkest corners of our souls, a consideration of the material conditions and consequences for yourself... See more