The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

In addition, research has shown that it isn’t good for children to be the top priority in a household. We have a nation filled with children who feel entitled, can’t really manage for themselves, and can’t endure uncomfortable emotions because everything is taken care of for them.

Since a narcissist has no boundaries and could not care less about your boundaries, all interactions you have with them have the potential of becoming hideous.

Being human plagues narcissists. To show vulnerability shatters their image and leaves them with a raw shame that’s so intolerable they often react with the rage of a wounded animal.

narcissism is better viewed as a continuum of emotional states from adolescent self-interest to romantic love to excessive self-absorption and entitlement.

I came to discover that underneath these tirades was a chasm of shame and excruciating anguish.

A therapist named Rich Simon puts it this way: “For me, change is not an adventure. It’s a scary ordeal to be endured if necessary, but avoided if at all possible.” (Simon, 2007)

They know that people love them, but in the end it means nothing. As one narcissistic addict wrote after studying this myth: “I hear echoes outside of me from those who love and care for me. But I don’t hear their love; only echoes of what I want, what I need, and what I can never have.”

When that relationship is with a narcissist, your emotional health becomes so eroded that your sanity and your dignity disappear.

When you are able to detach, you have the ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and even deep caring, without emotional devastation, rescuing, or controlling.