The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

The aim of narcissists is to possess you. You are required to be their unquestioning worshiper and to never criticize or disagree with them.

Being human plagues narcissists. To show vulnerability shatters their image and leaves them with a raw shame that’s so intolerable they often react with the rage of a wounded animal.

history of failed relationships that have become the norm,

Through this book, I hope to provide some comfort to those who have lived in this unending cycle of idealization to rejection, adoration to hatred, and respect to disregard.

This, by the way, is exactly what narcissists want. They want you to submit your power to them. They want you to quake in your shoes at the thought of a confrontation with them.

At the same time, we must be discerning about the recipients of our gifts. Sadly, many of us keep bestowing gifts on those who either can’t receive or who keep taking and taking until we’re consumed.

And, it’s particularly difficult because narcissists work hard to build up a feeling of obligation, hoping it will keep us locked in despite the way they mistreat us.

“Religion draws people who don’t want to go to hell. Spirituality draws people who have already been there.”

In addition, research has shown that it isn’t good for children to be the top priority in a household. We have a nation filled with children who feel entitled, can’t really manage for themselves, and can’t endure uncomfortable emotions because everything is taken care of for them.