The Myth of Self-Reliance - The Paris Review

We’re not meant to be independent creatures, all alone. We’re meant to depend on each other. It’s an unsettling truth: the less we depend on each other, the more we depend on the market. We summon eggs to our apartment via an app instead of simply asking a neighbor. We hire a therapist—incapable of loving us back by design —and forget to call our f... See more

Dependence starts when we’re born and lasts until we die. We accept our dependence as babies, and ultimately, with varying levels of resistance, we accept help as we get to the end of our lives. But in the middle of our lives, we mistakenly fall prey to the myth that successful people are those who help rather than need, and broken people need rath

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Rugged individualism is still deeply enmeshed in American culture. And its myth is one of our biggest exports to the rest of the world. Rugged individualism is the philosophical foundation that convinces you that if you fail, it’s because you’re not good enough. Rugged individualism erases the impact of structural and systemic inequality.

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Millions of people — and white people in particular — would rather endure physical isolation, generalized loneliness, caregiving exhaustion, and financial precarity than relinquish some of their societal power. That’s a far less optimistic foundational myth than individualism. But it’s a far more honest one.