The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

Resist this. Set boundaries by carving out time for the other important aspects of your life—spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, exercising, giving back to your community, etc.

“Hey, I’m really impressed with the way you [do X]. I’d love to learn from you. Would you be willing to grab a coffee with me and share your approach?

For example, I hold weekly office-hour blocks as a result of a direct tip from her.

Little Wins. Every day, I’d jot down something I did that I was proud of, even if it was small.

If others find you defensive, you’ll get less feedback in the future, which will only hurt your growth.

Recognize that everyone in the world goes through hard times, and give yourself permission to worry.

“What skills do you think I should work on in order to have more impact?

Nine times out of ten, the other person is not out to get you. Your coworkers don’t think you’re an idiot. And, yes, you deserve this job.

Why is this even hard for me? your internal critic might wail. If I were smarter or braver or more talented, I’d be fine. By feeling guilty about the way you feel, you’re creating even more stress for yourself.