When mothers overprotect sensitive girls, these girls grow up feeling they will always need this kind of overprotection—later a man’s protection—and gladly give up their authority for it. Sensitive sons, loved less by their mothers, grow up expecting to be loved less by everyone unless they can somehow hide their sensitivity.

All HSPs, men or women, are more aware of what other people are feeling, what they want and need. Thanks to your spontaneous deep processing, you also can sense what will happen if others don’t receive what they need—they may suffer, fail at what they want to do, become angry with you, feel disappointed with you. And being more sensitive, when they

average gender differences have declined with each generation. We all need to express our feelings

The Research on Depth of Processing Depth of processing is the key to sensitivity, and the most difficult to actually observe or ask questions about. One way it shows up is that HSPs simply seem to have thought through all aspects of a subject, especially a decision they must make, from choosing the flavor of ice cream they want to their thoughts

We need more than a few new techniques. We need an entire lifestyle that suits our trait and a strong sense of being justified about doing what we need to do.

we can have special difficulties with the other gender—mistrust, fear of rejection, misunderstandings. These have to be faced before going any farther in this book.

You need information about your trait—a constant stream of it. It should be neutral to positive information, to offset negative views from those who do not understand it.

You need ample permission to turn off some of your sensitivity to the needs of others. This is not selfish—for example, it could make your partner a far happier person. When you try to behave like a non-HSP and help everyone whom you sense needs it, you are bound to succumb to overarousal.

You need help being out in the world, while still maintaining your optimal level of arousal. HSPs should be out there, involved, and successful, and we can be; but it must be in a balanced way—neither too protective of nor too brutal with ourselves.