HSPs’ strong reactions, especially to negative feedback about anything personal or about their performance, is why they are often said to “overreact” to criticism, especially by those close to them.

You need help learning to handle overarousal. This means learning how to avoid it when possible, survive it when it is happening, and recover from it when it is over. Overarousal is the greatest problem for HSPs,

we can have special difficulties with the other gender—mistrust, fear of rejection, misunderstandings. These have to be faced before going any farther in this book.

The point is that the differences are not nearly as great as each sex imagines, but let’s face it: the “strangeness” will be more intense for HSPs, with our tendency to process everything deeply, imagine vividly, and sense others’ feelings—in this case including the anger and suffering of the other gender. With all these reasons for tension,

HSPs who are also HSSs need special help finding their optimal level of arousal. You are easily bored and easily overwhelmed. You are often in conflict about going out or staying home, doing more or doing less, and it isn’t just about wanting to be like the non-HSPs around you.

The Research on Depth of Processing Depth of processing is the key to sensitivity, and the most difficult to actually observe or ask questions about. One way it shows up is that HSPs simply seem to have thought through all aspects of a subject, especially a decision they must make, from choosing the flavor of ice cream they want to their thoughts

Research indicates that those who stick to traditional male-female roles on the average have the least happy marriages and are less responsive to marital therapy.

what’s called “feminine” is simply “normal human.”

You need to heal the effects of a difficult childhood or dysfunctional family (and also of traumas experienced at a later age).