The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

So if you compare, for example, HSPs and non-HSPs who had the same level of troubled childhood, the HSPs would be more depressed, anxious, and shy as adults, and would struggle with insecurity in relationships, as described in this book. However, with a good enough childhood, they do not have these problems and can function better than others. Whil

All HSPs, men or women, are more aware of what other people are feeling, what they want and need. Thanks to your spontaneous deep processing, you also can sense what will happen if others don’t receive what they need—they may suffer, fail at what they want to do, become angry with you, feel disappointed with you. And being more sensitive, when they

You need ample permission to turn off some of your sensitivity to the needs of others. This is not selfish—for example, it could make your partner a far happier person. When you try to behave like a non-HSP and help everyone whom you sense needs it, you are bound to succumb to overarousal.

HSPs who are also HSSs need special help finding their optimal level of arousal. You are easily bored and easily overwhelmed. You are often in conflict about going out or staying home, doing more or doing less, and it isn’t just about wanting to be like the non-HSPs around you.

HSPS AND BOREDOM IN RELATIONSHIPS

You need to reframe your past in light of your sensitivity, especially those events that have reduced your self-confidence.

we can have special difficulties with the other gender—mistrust, fear of rejection, misunderstandings. These have to be faced before going any farther in this book.

You need help being out in the world, while still maintaining your optimal level of arousal. HSPs should be out there, involved, and successful, and we can be; but it must be in a balanced way—neither too protective of nor too brutal with ourselves.

rights and strengths, which Diane