Physical release without real intimacy feels empty and unsatisfying.

This is tricky to talk about. In generally good marriages, sex can smooth over small disagreements or even the occasional argument, giving the couple goodwill and energy to work on any issues they have. For these couples, the “Just have more sex” advice is often exactly right. But for marriages that are not generally good, in which the problems are

question, Is this woman dangerous to me? A more biblical question to ask is, Am I being respectful to this person as an image bearer of Christ?

It’s much harder for the clitoris to receive any attention during penetration if he has an overhanging belly, since his pelvic bone can’t stimulate her in the right way. And when your spouse is very heavy, breathing becomes difficult if he’s on top. In addition, when one or both spouses have more paunch, the usable length of the penis decreases.

A husband’s ego is not more important than a wife’s sexual pleasure.

Instead of saying, “Do some chores to get her in the mood,” say, “When both spouses pull their weight around the house, sex can flourish.”

I hope they grow up seeing their bodies as powerful and precious, not dangerous or threatening. I want them to glory in the majesty of being a “daughter of Eve,” to delight in their high calling to rule and reign with Christ, and to revel in their ability to uniquely show the world what God is like as his image bearers. I want them to fight back

CHECK-IN: Men, do you believe that you are inherently marred in terms of sexual purity simply by being male? If so, how has that affected you?

This dynamic explains successful marriages with significant libido differences as well. If mutual serving is the norm, then libido differences do not pose the same threat they do in marriages with less sacrificial giving. In marriages marked by mutual serving, each spouse can delight in meeting the other’s needs knowing that their needs will also