It’s always easiest to break the ice with a few observations about the situation, rather than asking for personal information.

Just a couple more words of advice: Be patient. You don’t have to have it all in one date. Give yourself a chance to bond with this person instead of trying to find out everything about them in this one encounter and then making a snap decision about whether or not you want to see them again. And keep your sense of humor. Don’t tell jokes (unless

themselves was to look them in the eye and ask What’s your name? Making eye contact and placing the emphasis on the word your, rather than the word name, signaled to the person that they were important. She never failed to make a connection when she used this approach.

experience, she will interrupt to say, essentially, Oh yes, that happened to me, too . .

show an interest in the lives of your customers/clients/patients every chance you get.

• How did you two meet? • How did you get started ______? • What got you interested in this area? • When did you first know you wanted to be a ______?

make a commitment to use at least four of them in your next conversation. If you’re afraid you won’t remember them, write them down, put them in your pocket, and refer to them before you to go into the event. If you go blank while you’re there, excuse yourself for a moment and walk into the restroom to take a peek at your list. The most famous and

the benefit of the doubt

Team apparel and other logo-identified clothing, accessories, water bottles, and clipboards are great conversation starters. Be observant for a new hairdo, a book or magazine, a child’s artwork, or a cast on a broken limb.